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No Passion

I love failure. When it occurs, I'm pretty indifferent to it, but as a concept I love it. Failure lets you know that you're doing something wrong. It shines a light on a personality trait that needs to be fixed,one that probably would go unchanged if it weren't for failure.

People who fail and get angry are missing the point. Failure is opportunity. It's like getting angry that your car tells you you're low on gas. The indicator light isn't the problem,the level of fuel is. Further, hiding the failure doesn't solve the underlying problem. Disconnecting the indicator light won't fill up your gas tank, but filling up your gas tank will turn off the light.

During my tenure as a pickup artist, I never took failure personally. It never mattered to me. Each time I failed, I felt as though the girl had revealed a secret to me. No attractive girl is chaste her whole life, no girl is a bitch to every guy. If she didn't want me to call her, that meant that there was something unattractive about me that I had to change. Compliments and success stroke my ego, but honest critical feedback leaves me thinking for months.
I have failed financially so far. It's not that I'm poor, or anywhere close to it. I'm sure my income, net worth, or lifestyle are impressive or even enviable to a lot of people. I'm so immeasurably grateful for everything I have that I feel a tinge of guilt on a daily basis for not spending the entire day thanking everyone who has made my life so great. However, despite whatever success I have, I am not where I want to be. I will be a billionaire, I will own my own submarine and airplane, and I will spend the majority of my life traveling and seeking adventure. I'm not nearly as close as I should be to these goals, and I'm not exactly on the express train there.

Submerged

On The Wild While of Mild Miles

When did the whirlpool become an ocean?

I've been drifting; in between days, floating from one dreary hour to the next. A go with the flow momentum, no matter the maelstrom of monumental strife met at certain moments in my life.

There's an old saying, I remember my father trying to reinforce

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"

I've always considered that a paradox. After all, if you have a plan to fail, that's still a plan, isn't it? And it has a rather high chance of guaranteed success. But that's circular, defeatist thinking, isn't it? And we're not allowed to have that are we, as a species striving towards the next stage of evolution, our progressive culture programmed way before puberty struck with self-awareness.

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