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Five Steps to Becoming a Leader

I've always wanted to be a leader. For the longest time I didn't know what it actually meant to be a leader, so my aspiration was probably just because I wanted the prestige of being a leader. I guess I also didn't like taking orders from anyone, so I figured there was no other place for me.

My idea of how to become a leader was even worse than my motivations for being one. I thought that I should just act aloof and slightly superior to everyone, and that that would make them naturally assume I'm a leader. This sounds incredibly stupid, which it was, but it's also quite common. I see people doing this all the time.

Luckily I was exposed to a lot of real leaders, I got to observe how they interact with others, and I learned what a leader truly is. From that experience, I present to you the five steps to become a leader.

1. Make things happen for people. A leader is the person with the most responsibility, and the way you get responsibility is by taking it. A great way to do this is to organize things for people you know. I sometimes organize trips for my friends, my friend Nick is always organizing tours and parties for his friends, my friend Elliot always seems to be hosting barbecues and parties for his friends.

Learning to Speak and Listen in Actions, not Words.

On DROdio

We humans are a strange bunch.  Being equipped with the miracle of verbal and written communication, we get a 'pass' on something the rest of the animal kingdom relies on for survival: Speaking and listening in actions, not words.

It's taken me a long time to realize how poorly my action-related communication syncs to my verbal communication.  I grew up believing it was OK to say one thing, but to do another.  Many of us do.  It's easy to fabricate worlds where we say one thing but do something completely contrary, and as a society few people call us out on the disparity.  I'm not sure why this is.  The best reason I've come up with is that few of us are tuned into "listening to actions, not words" enough to notice it.

As I've slowly become aware of the disparity, the main reason I've often failed to achieve parity between my spoken commitments and my actions is that it's a really, really hard skill to master.  It takes meaningful, consistent effort to 'say as you do, and do as you say'.  Life is full of small opportunities to massage the effect of one's actions with a stream of words that cover up the true meaning of the underlying actions.  Our spoken (and written -- but mainly spoken, since it's more extemporaneous) communication acts as a type of elbow grease that makes interactions between humans run more smoothly -- or so we think.

Examples are plentiful and commonplace:  

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