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Ephemeral Friendships

Glasses clinked and spoons rattled against porcelain as we sat in a backstreet cafe in Tokyo. Our table was three chairs one one side and a low couch on the other.

Across from me was Jimmy. We met a couple years ago because a mutual friend moved to Jimmy's town in New Zealand. He introduced us over email and we became fast friends. Right of him was John, who I met a few days ago through Jimmy and had already bonded with over standup sushi and plans to buy a cruise ship. To my right were Adrienne, a 21 year old who keeps a fascinating journal of plans. We met briefly at Karaoke six months ago, and then got to know each other on the cruise. And at the end of the table were Chris and his girlfriend Kaori. I met Chris by random chance, having shared an apartment with a mutual friend seven years ago. It just so happens he's also friends with Jimmy.

That's about half of my social circle in Japan, at least right now. Only Chris and Kaori actually live here.

It's strange, having this ephemeral group of friends. Most will be my friends forever probably, but maybe that's the only time we'll convene in that particular group. It's not like Friends on TV where it's the same gang every episode.

Friends Forever??

On The Wicked Boar

So today I was talking to my best guy friend who is technically my best friend you know, because guys are less dramatic and stuff, about a huge fight I had with my best girl friend from high school who I basically don't speak to anymore because things got very ugly, when I realised it really is very sad how in this time friendship means very little to so many out there. I mean think about it, we all have friends we hang out with sometimes or friends with common interests that we talk to some times, and this happens more in high school, but there are very few we actually trust enough to be ourselves or to tell our fears to, and that makes me very sad because in one year I lost, at first 2 of my closest friends and then peter that same year, I realised some weren't really my friends at all and some didn't care about our friendship enough to save it.

Back to the main idea, I was talking freely to him and I started an idea of the future but I didn't finish but since I've asked him before "do you think we'll be friends when we're forty" or "in 5 years", he immediately said "no I don't think we'll be friends" and I don't know if I'm the only one that feels like I do but it's heartbreaking to think I won't see the friends that really matter anymore you know?

It's like "a long shot" thinking about the future and the people that are going to be in it, but every time I imagine the future, he's there with me along with 2 or 3 other really close friends I truly love, and being realistic, he's the the person who is most honest with me, so it got me thinking and it probably is true.

Everyday I face more and more reality and it really scares me to think that in less tan 2 years I'm gonna be facing the world completely alone, and those fears lead to others and lusbfaiubiurejwoidajueifuq3i4uh oh my god I'm a mess, and to think I was having a good day.

I think I'll be writing more about this a lot.

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