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Ephemeral Friendships

Glasses clinked and spoons rattled against porcelain as we sat in a backstreet cafe in Tokyo. Our table was three chairs one one side and a low couch on the other.

Across from me was Jimmy. We met a couple years ago because a mutual friend moved to Jimmy's town in New Zealand. He introduced us over email and we became fast friends. Right of him was John, who I met a few days ago through Jimmy and had already bonded with over standup sushi and plans to buy a cruise ship. To my right were Adrienne, a 21 year old who keeps a fascinating journal of plans. We met briefly at Karaoke six months ago, and then got to know each other on the cruise. And at the end of the table were Chris and his girlfriend Kaori. I met Chris by random chance, having shared an apartment with a mutual friend seven years ago. It just so happens he's also friends with Jimmy.

That's about half of my social circle in Japan, at least right now. Only Chris and Kaori actually live here.

It's strange, having this ephemeral group of friends. Most will be my friends forever probably, but maybe that's the only time we'll convene in that particular group. It's not like Friends on TV where it's the same gang every episode.

Extreme Friendship Building

On Ambition is my guilty pleasure

Share a foxhole, survive on a deserted island, traveling through a war zone, being swept out to see. These are all perfect ways to build a friendship, right? Wrong? Maybe only for some people?

Lets explore this.

Shared experiences can create an intensely strong bond between people. That bond can become more hardened when you involve life threatening or extreme situations. Many people have said that they can rely on a person who has been through a difficult or trying time with them. The bond created is undeniable.

However, how do these relationships stack up with those made in peaceful times? Is there even anything that can correlate?

Most of my of my friends are from school or work. I don't always get together with them or hang out as often as I'd like. But there is something that makes some relationships stronger than others. After talking with a friend, he offered me to stay at his house if ever I needed to. If ever I did, it would definitely strengthen our friendship. This may seem obvious, but was surprising to me was the actual offer. Putting your self out there is not an easy task and dedicating your time or resources to someone else shows commitment and trust. Another friend has offered to help me in promoting a project of mine, and another to help edit a story, or another to come and visit and help out.

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