Ever since I can remember, I have been a huge fan of Boy Meets World. With no concept of TV guide or schedules, it was a gift from the heavens above when I would turn on the TV and see the familiar cast. For roughly as long as I was a fan of the show, I had a crush on Topanga - known as Danielle Fishel in real life.
I'm hesitant to post detailed "reports" on meeting women here. Maybe because it's too personal, maybe because it's so easy to misinterpet as mechanical, but for whatever reason I don't love the idea. However, this is a funny story that probably won't offend anyone (except one guy who I don't mind offending.)
The 2004 Pickup Artist Convention, which I had organized, was held in Los Angeles, CA. Normally I'm rather lazy about going out and meeting people. I find it very frustrating to find women I'm genuinely interested in, and the allure of talking to women for practice is much less than it was when I first got into the Pickup Artist thing.
However, during PUA conventions, I wasn't lazy. No one was. It was a chance to shine, and show people how good you were in the field.
I was holding court with two typical club girls at The Standard in West Hollywood, which was right down the street from our house. They were very pretty, but simultaneously very boring. It's a common combination, especially in LA.
As we sat and bantered, I was aware of everything going on. During PUA events there is always a crowd of guys from all over the world who come to watch the more experienced guys in action. They're too afraid or unskilled to do the approaches, so they live vicariously through us. Also in attendance was my friend Hayden.
There are certain rules we play by. They're not formalized and written down, but they're understood. One of them is that unless he's expecting you, you don't interrupt a conversation between your wingman and girls.
Hayden interrupted my conversation. He looked hesitant.
"Ty... Hey... Can I talk to you for a minute?"
It was strange. The girls noticed this as well. I introduced the girls to him, assuming he wanted to come sit with us and meet one of them himself. It wasn't an orthodox procedure, but I didn't care. I was doing little more than showboating for the onlookers.
"I just need to borrow you for two seconds... it's important."
What could be so important? Curiousity piqued, I stood up and followed him a few feet away.
"Topanga is at Mel's"
Mel's Diner is a popular after hours diner in West Hollywood. Incidentally it was also about 50 feet away from our house. In fact, Mystery and I had conducted a number of contests involvind Mel's parking lot. Could we throw oranges down the hill and land them in the parking lot? Yep. Who could make a paper plane fly closer the restaurant? Neither of us.
"Jay just called because he knows you like her. She's eating with some people at Mel's right now. You should leave."
I returned to the girls and hastily excused myself. They were visibly startled - girls like that don't normally have guys like me ditching them for ANY reason.
On my way over to Mel's I called Jay. He told me that she was with five other people, sitting in the middle of the restaurant, with no extra chairs at the table. As far as logistics go, it doesn't get any worse than this. Ideally a girl you're interested in will be sitting with one or two friends in a less conspicuous area with an extra chair at the table. From there it's just a matter of "passing by" and "striking up a converstaion" and sitting in the extra seat. Within minutes you're part of their group and they forget that you're some random guy who took one of their chairs.
From time to time I battle with approach anxiety. I see a group of beautiful girls and don't want to approach. Sometimes I'm scared and sometimes I'm just apathetic. However, when there's a celebrity involved, there's no anxiety. The reward is so great that it outweighs any risk. I'd previously kissed Leelee Sobieski, but had failed to recognize who she was. In real life she was charming, but not outrageously attractive. A celebrity is a notch on the belt that anyone wants - PUA or not. The validation of having someone who could have anyone interested in you is incomparable.
Finally, I arrived at Mel's. I walked in with no hesitation. Any awkwardness could be sensed a mile away and would ruin it. With a girl of this caliber, there is no room for error.
I glanced around. The tables were packed with pickup artist and pickup artist wannabes from all over the world. Jay had kept them at bay because he know how much I liked Danielle. It was as if I was entering a boxing ring - all eyes were on me, Danielle, and her table.
Her table consisted of three couples. They were obviously on a triple date. This wasn't good. Danielle was sitting in the middle of the table, her date on the edge that I was closest to. I walked almost past the table and glanced back casually. She really was beautiful. It wasn't that she had better hair, or a better figure, or even a better face than anyone else. She just had a huge smile that beamed confidence and contentment. I was attracted instantly.
"Hey guys," I started, "I need your opinion on something...."
I'd delivered the same exact line a thousand times. Thanks to Neil's book, thousands of other people have delivered it as well.
I continued into the 80's Dogs opener. The premise is that a neighbor has two dogs and wants to name them after an 80s rock duo. Does the group have any suggestions?
There was a pause. The guys were baffled that I would just walk up like that and start talking. The girls were scrutinizing me for any hint of insecurity.
One of the other girls offered, "How about Hall and Oats?"
I'd heard that answer a million times.
"Hey! That is a good one!"
Hey... what else am I going to say? Danielle was still staring at me without answering. Her friends had accepted me, but she wasn't convinced. Her date was even less convinced.
"Dude! I have an opinion for you. Take that feather boa off and leave!"
While his grasp on the Enlish language may be in question, his intent certainly wasn't. He was threatened and didn't like that I was there at all. In a sense, I had messed up. The idea is to not convey that I'm anything more than a curious passer by. The awkward logistics made that nearly impossible, though.
The truth is that in all my experience, I had never really encountered a hostile guy. Most guys would either befriend me or just become silent and dejected as their girls became attracted to me. This was new.
I ignored him and continued on. This seemed to work for a little while. I bantered back and forth with the group.
"Axl and Rose."
Danielle finally answered. She had been thinking the whole time. That too was a typical answer, but I agreed that it was a good name. I could tell by the look on her face that she was proud of it. Unfortunately her date wasn't impressed at all. He ramped up the volume and made it impossible for me to stay there. It had become slightly awkward for me to be standing there anyway - I desperately needed a chair to sit in.
"Is he always this much of a dick?" I asked the group. The other two girls regretfully replied that he was.
"Well... I'd hate to continue offending him. It was good to meet you."
I walked off, rejected. If there was an empty chair where he was sitting, I believe I would have been able to join the group and get to know everyone in it, but I didn't. There are ways to effectively deal with hostile guys (called AMOGs), but wasn't good at them.
As a last resort, to regain my pride, and to regain any respect lost from the onlookers, I approached another group of two girls and one guy. They were sitting right near the exit, where Danielle would have to pass by.
Within a few minutes I was sitting at their table and was being offered food. I was in. Still sidetracked by Danielle, I wasn't particularly interested in the group. They were fun, but I was talking to them with a purpose.
When Danielle's group paid the check and started walking to the door, I got ready.
Just as she passed, I delivered a joke with perfect comedic timing. The group erupted and she turned to see what the disturbance was. I turned and grinned at her, as if to say "See? Look what you missed out on."
She wouldn't forget me, I was sure, and hopefully I would meet her again. Unfortunately, I never did. Maybe one of you knows her, or knows someone who knows her, and will have her read this. I'd love to hear whether she remembers it or not. I'll bet she does.
[...]May 14th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Glad to see that she reunited with her puppet father.
I love Danielle Fishel as any normal man familiar with her should, but I never was very good as a PUA. I admire your approach & result while keeping stance. I, myself would have either walked away humbled or have cleaned her BF's clock. Either way, if by chance there would be another meeting, I know I wouldn't be able to face her again. Kudo's to you amigo!!!
Yes, great smile. Indeed ;)
Lol I saw that hat in a couple of pictures posted on here somewhere. Its interesting, do you still have the red hat that the one girl gave you that you thought was going to murder you?
Haha... I used to always wear a feather boa. You could literally walk down the Sunset strip at any time and easily see feathers that had fallen off it.
The way I see it, life is too short not to dress like a rock star. I have lost the boa, but I now wear a hat covered with sequins anywhere I go.
Man, I always thought Topenga was hot... especially too hot to be interested in Ben Savage's character.
I do wonder a bit as to why you had a feather boa on... but if you have enough balls to be that much of a pick up artist, then I guess you can where whatever you damn well please.
Don't worry man... this whole community thing is getting bigger and bigger, more and more mainstream. Celeb FR's are COOL.
I think you did the right thing; ignoring the AMOG was the best thing. When there is no immediate way to lock-in (sit down) the best thing you can do is eject... otherwise it's a bit weird that you want to go to all the effort talking to them. Perhaps you could have invited them up to the house.
I wanna hear the Leelee Sobieski FR.
Oh the rest of the comment didnt post, didnt noticed till now :)
So I say with totall confience: Let me get you guys in. My hook with the doormen didnt go so well and even I didnt get into the party, her BF laughed at me. Its fun to be PUA, you get to be humiliated in so many diferent ways. :)
I hope my standup puts me in a better position to go for celebs :))
This is part of an ongoing series. If you haven't read them already, read :
I wrote out this entire post before, and then the computer crashed and I lost it all, so I haven't felt like working on it. Finally, I'm biting the bullet and starting over :
I truly need to figure things out. I went to a six flags park today, it was my field trip. I had so much fun with Finn and a bunch of other people. With what i just lived, i learned that, don't worry too much. Things will happen the way they were meant to be.
I sat alone in the morning and when i got there, i walked straight to the entrance to find Finn. Thank god, i found him and spent the whole day with him. The bad part is, i sort of have a tiny crush on him. He was so nice and we were getting along so well... and he looked really cute. I just feel jealous of the relationship he has with this girl named Amber. She is good friends with him and i noticed things that happened today.
When i got to the entrance, me and Finn found everyone. Zane, Brian, Emma, Amber and Oscar. Now Amber has a crush on Zane and i seriously don't know why but oh well. After a few minutes, me and Finn were walking faster and faster and then suddenly, we lost the group. So we went on two rides and then we were with this guy in our class, Jonathan. He didn't want to do any of the big rides so eventually we left him. We didn't leave him by himself but he went with our other friends who wanted to do the same boring rides. Finn was being so nice to Jonathan and i really liked that about him.
We did all the scary, big rides together and had so much fun i was in the zone! But then, we found the group and i honestly didn't want to be with them because then i couldn't get closer to Finn. So we were waiting in line for this ride, and Finn asks me why i'm calm and not talking. I answer well these guys aren't really my friends and i don't know them. Later on, the guys ( not Finn ) were all over Amber and then she said, in a joke kind of voice, am i pretty? Then Finn in a joke voice said yes. Then he asked me if i was pretty. I said i don't know. He then replied, " Well i think you're very pretty, very pretty. " . I was freaking on inside because Amber is this thin gorgeous girl and he thinks fat Jane is pretty. Then he was telling me about his older sister and told me that she likes nails and makeup. After, i said that me and her would get along because i love beauty related things, he starred at me for like two minutes and i don't know why.
As time went by, i found my friend Olivia who was alone. So i asked her if she wanted to come with us and said yes. After a couple rides, i saw that Finn was having fun with the others and not with me anymore. He was doing rides with Amber and kind of forgetting about me. Me and Olivia left the group and ate pizza on a bench. It was the best pizza i've had in a long long time. I am attracted to Finn but i feel like he's attracted to Amber.