Everything is Fine. Seriously.

The news is my least favorite reality show. The reporters are condescending, the stories are horribly boring and are often incorrect. Worst of all, the whole thing is just designed to make you worry.

A lot of people love to worry. Some people worry about peak oil. WHO THE HELL CARES? Gas is incredibly cheap. Three dollars a gallon. You can go 30 miles with that if you have a decent car. $3 to go 30 miles. What a deal! I think I’ve already ranted about this before, so I won’t go on about how cheap gas really is.

Global warming is just as bad. What are you going to do about it? NOTHING. If you’re a multibillionaire or are an actual global warming researcher, this doesn’t apply to you. Everyone else – shut up about global warming. You’ll be dead before it has any effect. The fact that people actually concern themselves about this boggles my mind.

People – we have genius scientists!

Don’t you get this? We have geniuses all over the world who have really good technology at their disposal. If there is a solution, they’re on it. If it becomes a serious threat, they will come up with a solution. Want proof? You’re still alive. Scientists in the past have handled every single huge problem we’ve had. Idiots who watch TV and get riled up about the latest thing to be worried about haven’t solved anything. Leave it to the scientists and you handle picking the kids up from school. Deal?

I never worry about anything. Know why? There’s no point in EVER worrying. If you worry, then you need to eliminate it as soon as possible.

There is absolutely no benefit in worrying. It depresses your mood, wastes your time, and worst of all, distracts you from actually SOLVING PROBLEMS. I’m not saying to ignore your problems – solve them. But do it logically – emotionally dwelling on the problem will cloud your judgement.

I learned to stop worrying back when I was a professional gambler. At first every loss would cause a knot in my stomach. I’d wonder what would happen if I kept losing. If I won I would bounce off the walls in excitement.

Eventually I realized that this was no way to live. The emotional swings weren’t serving me – they were impeding my progress. If I lost I would get upset and not want to play anymore. Or I would play dumb to try to get my money back.

Over time I learned to control my emotions almost completely. If I won I would be happy, but not dwell on the win. That’s dangerous too. Winning $4000 doesn’t make the next $100 any less important, so it’s good to not get caught up in it. If I lost I didn’t care. I’ve lost more money in a day than many people will ever earn in a year, but at dinner none of my friends could even tell anything was wrong. That’s because nothing was wrong – it was just part of the job.