There are some skills you have to build only because you’re so bad at them. Mediocrity can go overlooked, but we’re reminded of our biggest weaknesses constantly, either directly or through the reactions of others. For me, one such weakness was the inability to empathize.
I may have realized that my way wasn’t always right if I had stopped to consider the idea for even a moment. That consideration never happened, though. Obviously my perspective was the only correct one, and anyone who strayed from whatever I thought was right was in jeopardy of being called an idiot.
Ironically, it took me becoming the idiot to learn. Only when I changed my mind on things could I look back and realize that whether I was the idiot now or then, I was indeed the idiot at some point. Of course, I could always have compassion for my old idiot self. I didn’t know better. I was trying my best. Things sure looked that way from where I was sitting…
And that’s the unlikely route that helped me develop empathy. I became at least aware enough that, after thinking someone is an idiot, I’ll always try to find a good reason they’re not. That reason almost always exists. I try to see it in people with whom I’m at odds. I try to see it in those who are pitted against my friends. I even try to do it for religious extremists, criminals, and bullies.
I watched a segment from the weirdest show ever, yesterday. It was an MTV show where a bully gets brought on to the show with someone they’ve victimized. The bully is then put in the ring with a professional fighter, who beats them up in a controlled setting.
The show is humiliating for everyone. The victim’s weakness is displayed for all to see, the fighter has stooped to beating up an untrained amateur on TV, and the bully gets pounded. In the one clip I saw, though, I couldn’t help but feel for the bully. She was mean and horrible, but that probably came from somewhere, and that somewhere probably isn’t full of kittens and rainbows.
Anyway, it’s been interesting developing empathy. I notice it in the same way a blind person might be aware of sight if he were to receive it. I’m not ready to sing kumbaya yet, but it has made me realize that no one is truly evil, most people try to make good decisions, and no one’s really the idiot they seem to be. Except maybe the previous incarnation of me who thought everyone was.
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Photo is a mackerel we caught and ate on the island.
Cruise is going awesome! We’ve formed a gang, 20%+ of the ship does our gang handshake, we’ve given out three awards at dinners, dominated karaoke, etc.
Sorry for the crazy posting time on this. It’s still early here and I lost track of time.
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