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How I Became a Famous Pickup Artist : Part 1

As far as I was concerned, she was perfect. She was at least as smart as I was, was a dancer and had the body to prove it, and had a smile that could disarm the national guard. Let's call her Julie.

So, like an earthworm stalking it's prey, I put my usual game on her. Since my last flowchart was so popular, I've made another one to show you how I dealt with the ladies back then:

Nedless to say, things went slowly. We hung out nearly every day for the last couple months of our Senior year summer vacation. Like many guys, I was totally oblivious to her attraction for me. One morning Julie came over really early while I was still sleeping, and squeezed into my twin bed with me. I woke up, and assumed that she must be tired - it didn't even occur to me that she might like me. Finally on the last week of that vacation she said to me,

How To Stop Writing Your Own Character Description

On The Slowing

When I was a little girl, my favorite thing to do was draw up characters for stories that never got written. I just found them a few months ago when I was cleaning out my closet o' things at my parents. There are folders full of "Charlotte, 29, Girlfriend of Simon, brilliant, hilarious, but a little bit rude." Each character had a color scheme assigned to them. And they were always partnered or positioned to eventually be partnered up.

There's quite a bit that's problematic with the structure of those descriptions. But I want to focus in on those last parts.

I have these characteristics that I want to be (i.e. intellectual, open-minded, dependable) and I am constantly taking action in order to satisfy those characteristics.

It's a taxing way to be, I'll tell you. I've always been a thinker, an introverted rationalizer. Spending hours, days, weeks thinking through a decision or wading through a tough situation before I know how I want to understand what happened.

And people have always praised this about me. "Hannah, how responsible you are. How thoughtful. How insightful."

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