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Six Things I Love About Living in an RV

I was on the phone a couple days ago with my friend Hayden. After hearing about my plan to continue up to San Francisco, he predicted that within a year I would be living "somewhere posh". I doubt it. I really just love living in this RV, and can't imagine circumstances that would make me move out (famous last words). There are certainly upgrades I'd like to do (more solar, more batteries, more water capacity), but for now I have no inclination to move out.

Why do I love it so much? What makes me so willing to give up things like adequate floor space for a trash can? Here are six of my favorite things about living in an RV.

Moving becomes easy. As I skateboarded over to my favorite Ethiopian restaurant (Rahel on Fairfax), I realized that I am basically a Los Angeles resident. Not for tax purposes, of course, but I feel the same as when I lived here a few years ago. Visiting somewhere, complete with sightseeing, hotels, and rental cars, feels different than living somewhere. I may only plan on being here for a few weeks, but I feel like a resident.

Why Having Kids is Stupid

On The Constance Chronicles

All kids endure at least one serious, near death accident. Mine was being scalded by boiling water on my stomach/ *cough cough* crotch. My mother had prepared a giant bowl of udon noodles for supper and I made the mistake of leaning heavily on my kiddy table, only to flip the table and cause the bowl to spill all over my lap. Although, this was not a near death experience I was put in a waist cast and had to complete a painful physical therapy session once every few days. This included sitting in a sterile tub for an hour to loosen the dead skin so the doctor could scrape it off and allow the new skin to breathe. Lots of pain and lots of blood. My cast had a pee and poop flap, so that was cool. I've had stitches, a dislocated shoulder, and my mother had to awkwardly take me to the clinic to treat my first yeast infection.

All kids lie and get themselves into fucked up situations. In the 7th grade I told my parents I was going to the movies and instead I went to a party at a friend’s house. When I walked in, the TV in the living room was playing the film “KIDS.” My friends were drinking wine coolers and when those ran out they all started taking shots of cologne. I stayed on the couch fixated on the movie. How could I take my eyes off of gross kids making out, having sex, doing drugs, stealing, and having AIDS! Later that night I watched a girl get jumped, she was kicked and punched while lying on the ground covering her face. After about five minutes they let her get up and she just continued walking home. High school boys ended up at the party and I took that as my cue to leave. When I got to school that Monday morning I had already started hearing rumors of girls who had participated in a “train.” It was soon after this I befriended an overweight gentleman who turned out to be my best friend for the next 3 years.He saved me from 7th grade AIDS. Kids lie, they cheat, and they have no regard for consequences. I fear all kids are special needs until proven otherwise.

Kids cost too much money. The cost of college alone could make a person broker than a mug. It costs $4,673 a semester to attend the University of Texas at Austin. This is tuition for an undergrad liberal arts major, the lowest of the low. This doesn’t include the $500-$800 a semester for books, living costs which include rent and food which could be around $1,200 a month. $8,900 per semester, $71,000 for 4 years of college. Furthermore, this doesn’t include when they were actually living with you; feeding them, clothing them, taking them on vacations, all the Christmas and birthday presents, and buying their first car. You can spend upwards of $319,500 on one child alone and I think that’s if you’re being a cheap parent. Let’s break this number down into Chipotle burritos to give you a better idea of how much money you would be spending on your runt. A fully loaded burrito costs about $8, can’t say no to guacamole. That’s almost 40,000 burritos. I could eat 2 burritos a day for the next 55 years of my life. Boom.

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