Hi, I'm Luke
I've never posted on a forum before, let alone started a blog topic. This makes me feel obligated to introduce myself to the community with a 'lay down misere' kind of post. I have no doubt that these first words will catch the eye and my steady ascent into the world famous blogging annals will begin but just on the off chance that doesn't come through, I just want to get more out of my life by getting some public commitments down on paper. I'm sure it's not news to anyone here but apparently public commitments give you some kind of ninja like focus skills and that's exactly what I'm looking for.
A bit of background about me: I've been lucky. I had a really splendid childhood, growing up in a somewhat back wood town in rural Australia. My parents are cool and I've got three sisters and a brother. They are all way older than me with their own families, kids and the rest. They are, however, straight up caricatures of what I'm trying to avoid. White, middle class and stagnant. Love them as I do, I don't want to be them. At the moment, however, I'm headed on a one way trip to do exactly that. It is scary.
Back on track, my background continued: I moved to Melbourne (in Aus) at 18 and got a job doing computer work which I was in no way prepared for or, by any reasonable measure, good at. Whether it's the absence of a technical mind or sheer laziness, I never got past quick fix updates and bad Googling (yes, despite the snappy interface it is still possible to suck at Google). Nevertheless, I struggled on as you're meant to, just existing along in the city without any real advancement in life to speak of. I got fired a few times but I wasn't fussed, I knew that eventually my brilliance would become evident to someone important and I would be the next Bill Gates, Warren Buffet or Ryan Gosling. Suffice to say, that didn't happen as fast as it ought to and I soon got old enough to realise it which made me promptly flip out and book a trip to Europe. I was lucky enough to have the travelling gene and have since spent loads of time in Africa and Europe, a little in North and South America and just a smidgen in Asia. All of this really transformed me and made me wish for a life less ordinary. Of course, I still managed to land back in Australia with my girlfriend (happily) having no further idea of what I want to do. When in danger, people’s automatic reaction is to stick to what they know. It turns out that my techie skills are pretty sucky but my conceptual understanding of technical things is passable and I have a talent for camaraderie and smart alec comments. Sometimes this can drag you up the corporate ladder, however much you try to sabotage yourself.
I must have found myself in the right place at the right time because I was rewarded with a good salary (>$150k), good friends (pure luck, nothing to do with me) and somewhat interesting work (identity management work is preferable to stuff like Cobra training). I'm in charge of over five million dollars and have a little discretion over some people’s lives by being their manager. Being in charge of people strokes the ego so I have found myself justifying and cajoling myself into thinking that maybe I should just 'stick with it and make HEAPS of money'. I now know that $150k is not a lot of money when money is the only thing you're doing it for. I fear that there isn't an amount of money that makes you happy / keeps you warm at night / solves all the world's problems.
Obviously I've decided against trying to do that, though. I've read loads of books about starting your own business and can happily say that I created a project management business (the website) and then proceeded to do nothing with it (probably the best move I made). I'd like to start my own business, I'd like to not work all the time (on shit things) and I'd like to change a load of habits about myself. I like making lists, so here is one about me.
Bad things about me:
1. I pick my nose
2. Am a self centered egotist
3. Live a pretty boring life (I understand there is a dichotomy between 2 and 3. I'm OK with it)
4. Am addicted to pain killers
5. Have a muscle spasm problem in my neck that my doctor told me was purely out of the tension my brain put in there (see problem 4)
Good things about me:
1. I don't use Facebook
2. I like to read
3. I like my partner
4. I regularly use brackets
5. I'm fairly shameless
6. I write every day, just for fun
When I read back over my post I can't help but be reminded of a quote by Christopher Hitchens. When talking about an early job he had, he reflects "I sometimes think if I'd been any good at that job, I might still be doing it.” This does, unfortunately, sum my position in life right now. I am good enough at my job that people praise me and it has made me make the fatal mistake of believing that there is some meaning in it all. My initial reaction was to soak up all the attention and put my head down and churn out the work. Now that I've had enough time to come up for air, I've reappraised my life and have graded myself with a big fat F. I need to make changes. Those changes can start small but they need to end BIG. I'm willing to take some risks and I want to put myself on the record as a way of getting it done.
I'm going to use this blogging platform to track my brain retraining and document any bizarre or amusing experiences I have. My public commitment is to radically change my life in the next 12 months. Here is what I won't be doing:
1. Working a corporate job in Melbourne, Aus
2. Doing anything that is not awesome, anywhere (thanks Seth). For me that's any kind of work that holds no real value (some IT work, for instance)
3. Having headaches from things that are inconsequential in the scheme of things
4. Having debt
5. Having any fear of climbing big walls (more to come on this one)
Here is what I will be doing:
1. Be involved with a local university giving talks on practical tips for young people in the workforce (and how to avoid it completely)
2. Having ten grand in the bank (significant given my history)
3. Getting down to 83 kilos (I use the metric system)
4. Climbing big walls
5. Publish a book on how to become a perfectly good rock climber
6. Publish a web app / Iphone app or setup a muse business
7. Releasing a blog post twice a week
And that's it. This is how I'm going to start. I hope my post draws some encouraging comments and I'm alerted to some people out there who are just starting and doing similar stuff (not some f'n zen masters who has already smashing things....).
Thanks for the nice words Melvin and good on you for getting involved. You sound like a cool dude.
I'm not being that hard on myself, I'm just approaching the public commitment and writing stuff like a recovering drug addict. If you know what your rock bottom baseline is (for the crack addict, it's pretty low so I'm already somewhat in the positive (comparatively)) and you ruthlessly outline it, you'll be able to get a great perspective on where you are at, long term.
P.S. I couldn't open that link so I I'm not sure whether the author's name has 'Mate' in it or whether you were relating to me. Either way, I like it!
My substance of choice is prolly fast food/comfort food/junk food and I am still battling. I've made some inroads every so often such as being the worst vegetarian ever for a while and a raw food sympathizer but yeah it's a hard fight as availability is everywhere and raw/vegan food has not yet matured to the point of being able to challenge the dominance of fast food/restaurants. I tried a 30 day food log along with appetite modulation by only eating half of what I eat but didn't really see any startling changes - just felt like a big waste of time. I'm chipping away at it though by ordering smaller portions and mixing in healthier foods every so often (stuff easy to find such as Subway Sandwiches, avocados, bananas, soups, etc...)
Oh yes btw I'm in the same boat as you two and a lot of other people here :). What's funny is I'm not the adventurous type at all but I'm still drawn to sites like this one. I think the big draw is us challenging ourselves to break our own perceptions of what we think we are. To be honest with ourselves and live our lives how we truly want to live them. It always seems to be the same story just told many different ways - I was x in my life but I really want to be y. Sure I may not be plane hopping and climbing up rock walls then jumping off of them but there is a vision of life I have in my own mind that I want to converge into. I want to be my own boss, make passive income, and use the rest of my time and resources to experience what I want, explore all my hobbies, and live every day in continual joy and wonder.
Best of luck to the both of you!
Fired might be a harsh word, but as of today I no longer work at the glorious Smiley Media. Working there was really fun, and I learned some interesting things, but at the end of the day I don't think I'm really meant to work in an office.
The only part I'll really miss are the people at Smiley Media. Steve is really good at hiring interesting people, so it was fun to be in that type of atmosphere every day. Unfortunately I never really "got into" the work, and thus I wasn't nearly as effective as I should have been. I felt somewhat guilty about that the whole time, occasionally pushing myself to be more useful, but found it hard to maintain. Since I helped hire two really good employees for the company, I may still help them find more, so if you're awesome and want to work there, let me know.
Now here's the thing: Smiley was such an awesome place to work, and I still couldn't hack it. This means that there is no way I will ever get a job again. The only possible exception is a really cool experiment that I'll be conducting soon, but you'll agree that it hardly counts.
Originally posted: Thursday, December 11, 2008
I know it's been a few days since I've written anything substantial. I can't say that I've been busy, just not much to write about. Today, however, is different!
For whatever reason I was just in a grumpy mood today. Maybe it's because I haven't done ANYTHING over the past 4 days! I haven't had to work, nothing left to do for school this semester, not a whole lot at home to do...nothing. I'm not the type of person that can just sit at home, without a thing in the world to do. Sure, I would love to be able to not work...but I better have lots of money to travel or be involved in other ways, OR I better be a stay at home mom.