I have always loved the concept of a blog. A personalised space where you can express your opinions and feelings about every subject your mind can imagine. It allows the world to see things like you do, or at least, to try seeing things like you.
But the beauty of this medium, is the same thing that holds me back to do it myself. Me, a fairly shy person, a bit fearfull of the experiences that will follow. But I keep trying. I have to write. It's the only way to get some mental rest, and it helps me to sort out my memories and feelings. It allows me to develop my own opinion, based on the things I experience and see every day.
In this social times, full of media dedicated to socialize and talk to each other, there are people who have a hard time adapting. Not only those less gifted with computer skills, but also the quiet, thoughtfull ones. Those who rather listen then speak, and are only comfortable getting attention in their safe circle of friends.
It are these people who have some trouble connecting through this, a bit more distand kind of socializing. So they post way less then their social confident counter parts. And this shows one of the mayor flaws of the social media.
While everyone can read the things their friends post, the quiet types don't react. They post less stuff themselves, and when they do, only their limited circle of close friends react. And this way, they are soon reduced to a number in the friend lists. Just a name and a picture, nothing more. Sure, they can post, and their friends will see it, but they won't react. They are keeping the invisible, distand barrier alive.
And this barrier, not visible, only feelable, is the thing that the quiet ones will take with them. Unlike their social 'friends', they take this distant feeling, and project that on everyday, not-internet life. They begin to feel this same distance, maybe real, maybe imaginary, when talking to other people. They start to react in ways they hope to get nice reactions, and when they do, they put a little of their own personality aside, just to make a good impression. And they often succeed in that, just because the quiet ones spend more time listening.
But when they learn this 'trick', which they will see as the only way to survive this social times, they become a shadow of their former self. Masked people, desperate to show the 'right' them. But in all that effort, they forget there is only one 'perfect' them: the one they find frightning and utterly imperfect.
But that's the only way to make a human connection. And I know that. It's the thing I learned from my depressed period, and I am trying to live by it every day. It is absolutely not easy, but I will succeed. And I will show you how. How? I have no idea. But I will get there. I promise.
Congratulations on making this post, then. Seems like a good step to take.
I was surprised to read that xkcd author Randall Munroe considers himself an introvert who doesn't engage socially that much. He's so prolific online, and has built such a community!
I think one of the beauties of blogging and other forms of online expression is it can create a safer space for some people to be expressive than in-person live on-stage kinds of venues tend to feel.
I think a big part of forming connection is finding what it takes to feel safe making those kinds of expressions. Contrary to what you're saying, I think you can find ways to do it where you get positive feedback, which reassures you that all your subconscious fears that keep you locked up won't materialize, that other people are fundamentally good, that we're all looking for that connection, and then little by little you can edge your way out.
Keep it up!
The one problem I have with this site is that the more it grows, the less I can write. My life is essentially an open book, but I try to respect the privacy of my friends. If one friend does something funny but slightly embarassing, I don't write about it. But it's not just my friends. My sister reads the site, so I don't want to write about my dating life. The family of some friends read the site, so I don't want to write about certain adventures that they don't want their parents to know about. Further, if I write certain things, I worry that people will think that they're intentional manpulations. I was working out the terms of my employment with a friend who I'm going to be working with soon. I didn't write anything about it because I didn't want him to think that I was trying to use the site as some passive aggressive method of negotiating.
All in all, I probably only write about 25% of what I'd like to write here. My friends in real life end up hearing way more funny stories than readers of this site - and I think that's a shame.
In a way I think I should just write EVERYTHING. The first month could be a rough ride, but eventually people would get used to it and would probably stop being offended. Or maybe then my real life friends would become more reserved because they'd be concerned about what I might write.
Lately I've been trying to get my goals done, or at least head closer to them. But for every two steps I take, I take one step back. Some days I might take 4-5 steps forward and only 1 back. Those are the days when willpower or time constraints push me to go further. The usual days tho, or just the days where I say I want something, I want to Learn Japanese, I want to have a strong online presence, I want to earn money, Etc. But the truth is "want" is not enough.
Everyone wants freedom. Everyone wants to be happy. But the truth is not many get what they want. And its not because they aren't motivated, its because Motivation itself is not pressuring
Think about why the majority of high schools and college students cram for exams one-two days (sometimes the same day) as the exam?
Why do most employees only do the jobs that are extremely urgent, time sensitive, or the ones the boss designates as extremely important?
Why do people who have bad habits like eating lots of sugar or smoking do it even though they know its bad, but when they are diagnosed with diabetes or cancer, suddenly take drastic action?