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What You Are, What You Do

You know when I was the most productive? The day before I started writing about how productive I was. You know when I was the least productive? About a week after that. You know where I am now? Still trying to get back to the pinnacle.

What went wrong? I started to believe not that I was producing, but that I was a productive person. I'm a man, and it takes no maintenance to stay that way. I'm American, and it takes no effort to remain american. Those are things I am. But producing is something I do. I'm productive when I'm producing, and I'm no longer productive when I stop. There's upkeep involved.

When I write a blog post about how productive I am, and it is received well, I see myself in a different light. I shouldn't, but before my conscious could grab ahold of it, my subconscious granted me the title of Productive Person.

So I started slacking. Not a lot, but enough to notice. Rather than pushing myself to not browse Reddit all day, I'd take a break here and there. Instead of pushing through from 11pm to midnight, I'd cut out early and waste time for the last hour of my day. I downloaded a chess game for my phone and would play a few games per day, rationalizing that it's an intelligent game, so learning how to play was a good idea. But that's not why I played-- I played to escape the pressure of hard work. Twelve hours of honest work shrunk down to six or eight hours of work stretched to a twelve to fourteen hour window.

on puttering and the big picture

On maggie's musings

Well, it is my second day of blogging. I have eaten 3 servings of fruit and veggies already and it is only 1:40. I also did my yoga poses. The kid comes back at 5, so I will see if I can pour some veggies into him at supper time. I slept about 9 hours, so all is good as far as the new habits go.

I really want to up my productivity over the next week until school starts again--I have a list of things that should get done. But I do love puttering around and I am not sure if I can do both. Puttering is work, but it is "in the moment." It is about little jobs that come up as you go along and it is open to being sidetracked at any time. The list I am trying to accomplish is systematic--things need to be checked off.

So, for example, today I split some firewood and kindling and brought it into the house (on the list). When I was finished, I felt like staying outside. So I covered my veggie beds (darn cats getting into them), cleaned up the firewood area, and wandered around a bit. I probably could have knocked off 3 things on my list during that time, but the puttering was time well spent.

So my love of systematic productivity is in contrast to my belief in the value of puttering. Can I hold onto both ideas at once? Clinging to ideas, and judging them as good or bad, is a bit silly in a way.

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