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A Slice of Humble Pie (Raw, of course)

For those who know me... well, even for people don't, it will come as no surprise when I say that I'm not a very humble person. I'm awesome, I'm aware of it, and I have no qualms making others aware of it. I pride myself on being self sufficient, and am generally of the opinion that if left on a deserted island I would not only survive, but flourish and create a civilization greater than the one we know now.

Anyone who was hoping I would some day be put in my place will probably really enjoy this post.

My mother and I had a bit of a tenuous relationship while I was in school. I would assure her that I was doing my homework, studying, and receiving good grades. My report cards would assure her otherwise, and usually she took their word over mine. We got along well, but the massive arguments spawned from school related issues cast a cloud over our relationship. Guess which parent accounts for my stubbornness and penchant for arguing.

Inflated, hyper-conscious, post-modern "Self"

On Words & threads

My world is full of personal achievements, laundry lists of "life experiences" on a resume, competition, self-criticism, self-improvement, social media profiles, and other validations of this sense of "self." Look at my blog title. Personally, I actually do not think I am more self-centered than those around me, but I have recently been identifying this quality as something bread in all of us by our culture.

In the book Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse, the main character spends his life seeking enlightenment through many different lifestyle changes. In the first part, Siddhartha becomes practices self-denial in the hopes of ridding himself of the "self" that is containing him. Reading this, I couldn't grasp it at first. I would consider someone who has already committed to a life of solely meditating and fasting to be pretty free of a burdensome self. However, the more conscious he was of himself and his efforts, the more he was failing and becoming more self-obsessive.

Eventuallly, Siddhartha moves away from self-denial into self-indulgence. He doesn't find peace and enlightenment until he has moved away from both of these sentiments, into a simple communion with the natural world. I found it interesting that life was most meaningful for him when he wasn't trying to reach for an ideal for himself, but rather when he truly forgot himself and was immersed in the present moment.


If Siddhartha had a problem with his ego, imagine the mounting ego of a modern teenager. We are constantly taking in a feeding out cues about our own identities, or at least the superficial marks of them- our grades in school, the number of followers we have online, the material possessions we own. Oftentimes when we post on social media, we can say we are capturing a moment, but its really not for the moment's sake- rather for the sake of it popping up on someone else's screen. Sometimes when we ask a question, we just want to be asked the same thing in return to be able to give our two cents.

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