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Goodbye 2012

I'm sitting by a crackling fire at my aunt and uncle's house in New Jersey and we're just a couple hours into the new year, which means that it's a perfect time to review the year and look forward.

If I were to title my year, I'd call it the year I got serious. Something interesting happened near the end of 2011-- I realized that I wasn't actually on track for a lot of my goals, that I was going to have to actually get serious about stuff, and that this seriousness had to come in the form of action, not talk. I ended 2011 with a few months of solid productivity under my belt, and a year-end post that optimistically predicted a productive year.

I'm happy to say that the productive year materialized, and that my focus on getting serious has intensified.

When I was young, maybe third grade or so, a psychologist did a study at my middle school. We answered some questions and were offered two choices: a small prize now or a large prize later. I took the small prize now. I think knew it was the wrong move at the time, but the pack of stickers on the table looked like a lot of fun. Later on the big prizes were given to the waiters in such a way that I was able to see what they got. Sure enough, their prizes were a lot better and my stickers were long gone.

A Little Chaos

On A Germinating Seed

So, this is around the time in the semester when you start to plan what you're going to do for the next semester. We schedule our classes. We apply for research opportunities, maybe. We apply for peer advisor jobs, maybe. And how could you really know what you're going to do next semester when you are still balancing out how to deal with this one?

I don't know, but it is stressful.

I’ve had a lot of thoughts running through my mind. Last week seemed a little bit chaotic. But, it seems that every week is little chaotic.

Last week I had my interview for Project SMILE board. I registered for some of my classes for the upcoming fall semester, which could be a complicated process. I had a very big literature review due; it’s worth most of my grade in the class. And I went home for Easter.

Lately, I’ve been feeling incompetent.

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