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That One Time I Danced

I'd managed to go twenty something years without ever actually dancing, but it was becoming increasingly clear that my streak was going to end tonight. I'd always envied people who could dance. They made it look so easy and fun, which was how it was when I danced in the mirror, but the thought of dancing in front of other people mortified me.

"Come on, man. Go with them! Dance!"

We had met a couple girls on the cruise, and like any girls, they wanted to dance. Somehow all girls are built with this ability, while a good number of us guys become borderline disabled when led to a dance floor. I noticed that in direct contrast to his goading, my friend wasn't making any effort to join the dancing masses himself.

How 50 Cent Got Out of Rehab

On Isaac Lewis

After reading Robert Greene's The 50th Law, which I mentioned in a previous post, I wanted to learn more about the life of Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson from the man himself. So I ordered his autobiography, Pieces to Weight, which focuses mainly on his days as a drug dealer and gangster in Southside Queens, New York.

One of the funniest stories in the book was how Fifty got out of rehab.

He was in rehab, not because he was doing drugs (most crack dealers won't touch their own product), but because, according to him, he'd ingested it by accident. In his own words, he'd be so busy cutting up and preparing crack that he wouldn't have time to wash his hands when he grabbed lunch. When Fifty and his partners were arrested, the partners were imprisoned, but Fifty got 18 months in rehab thanks to the cocaine in his bloodstream.

Fifty didn't enjoy being in rehab, mainly because, as a non-drug-user, he felt the staff were patronising him. Protestations that he didn't have a drug problem were seen as a failure to leave the "denial" stage. More patronising feel-good "support" from the genuine addicts didn't help. But Fifty eventually learned he'd have to play the game if he wanted to get out.

So he pretended to be an addict with a real desire to recover. He learned to speak the jargon of the programme, and he learned low-level conversation hacks that made him appear trustworthy and honest (like sheepishly looking at his shoes, then directly into the other person's eyes). Soon he was seen as a model patient, enlisted to support and mentor the other addicts.

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