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Random Gifts

I woke up and stumbled to the front door to check for packages. I wasn't really expecting one, but you can never be too sure. To my surprise there was a small brown box waiting on the doorstep for me. What had I ordered? I couldn't remember. I walked back inside and tore the package open.

Inside was a book and a board game. Not just any book and board game, though - they were abominations thrust in in front of my virgin eyes. The game was called A Hot Affair and the book was Penthouse: Naughty by Nature: Female Readers' Sexy Letters to Penthouse. Confused, I check the shipping address. Sure enough they weren't meant for me.

They were my neighbor's.

My Stalker Is Awesome

I don't know if most people would want a stalker or not, but I have one and I think it's great. Technically she may be more of a secret admirer, but I don't have any proof that she admires me, and I do have proof that she's crafty enough to find my addresses. There's also been some speculation that she isn't actually a hot girl, but is someone playing a trick on me.

I walk into work and see a large envelope sitting on my desk. Hmm... I'm not expecting anything. I look at the to address.

"Black Ty"