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Fluidity of Identity

When I lost my sequined hat, which I wore nearly every day for three years, I felt out of place. I was the guy who wore the sequined hat, and now part of my identity was most likely in the hands of an unscrupulous backpacker in Panama. But really, I had been getting sick of the hat. It wasn't overly functional, had shed enough sequins that it was starting to look ratty, and was a vestige of my clubbing days. All that didn't change that it had become part of my identity, though. The same could be said about my recent decision to stop being a vegan. It was a comfortable identity for me. Some people saw me as a positive example of veganism. Deciding to eat meat would be an admission that I had been wrong and had given suboptimal advice to my readers. That's a bitter pill to swallow, and I could feel my subconscious fighting to maintain its identity; the battle for consistency over optimization.

Fortunately I've been able to couple my identity to a few key values, rather than staunch positions on issues. I value doing the best thing for myself and others, I value finding the truth over being the one who had it to begin with, I value health, I value independence and freedom, and I value productivity. My means of expressing and embracing these values are different now than they were a few years ago, and I have every reason to expect that they'll continue to morph as I progress through my life.

Staying exactly the same is the opposite of growth. If you want to develop yourself, you must be willing to have a fluid identity, deriving your value and satisfaction from what you're currently doing and planning on doing, rather than from what you've done. It's not always easy, which just might be an indicator that it's the right thing to do.

Leaving on a jet plane

On Toddler Breastfeeding

This will be Desmond's first flight. He's scared of elevators so I can picture him having the same reaction to the plane. Hopefully, climbing around seats and the JetBlue back-of-the-seat tv's will be enough of a distraction to keep him from completely becoming terrified. Otherwise, I will have to do a bit of painful nursing to calm him. I don't use any covers, so I hope JetBlue doesn't have any snippy flight attendants that will attempt to kick us off the plane for nursing.

That would not be ideal. These last minute tickets were super expensive! Wish us good travel!


Boston, please don't dump too much snow on us. We'd like to get in AND out on schedule ;)

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