How I Think About Aging

I’ll never forget asking my grandmother what her favorite decade was. She was in her eighties at the time and had had a really good life overall, but would occasionally make comments about how she hopes the world is moving in the right direction because it sure seems…

Her answer came quickly and without reservation. Now was the best, she said. I figured that she would surely say the seventies or eighties, as her family struggled before that but had a comfortable life by then. I asked what made now so good.

She said that she had more wisdom than ever, more life experiences, and the biggest family. She didn’t seem all that concerned with aging and health problems and also didn’t seem to mind that most of her life was behind her.

I was never particularly preoccupied with aging before then, but hearing her response erased any lingering concerns I had. My life had certainly gotten better with each of the three decades I’d lived, and someone I trust and respect told me that the same would continue to happen.

I remember when parents turned forty and I was just shocked at how old they were. It was weird, I thought, to have parents whose lives were basically all over. Now I’m a couple years away from forty myself and I still feel young, though I do often think about how I’m nearing the halfway point.

So far the aging process has been mostly good. I’ve spent my time well and gotten better at everything that’s important to me (although I certainly have a long way to go on tons of things). Every year my bonds and history with my family and friends grow deeper and more important. My Financial situation gets better every year. I understand myself and the world a little better.

I have a scar on my foot where I scraped it on a rock and it doesn’t seem to have healed as quickly as it may have when I was younger. My eyes don’t focus as well late at night. Other than that, I feel exactly the same as I did twenty years ago.

When you’re twenty you can basically do whatever you want and the effects won’t be seen or felt. Same with your thirties, to some degree. But by the time you’re in your eighties, your life decisions, habits, and outlook have caught up to you. I’m on a cruise right now and boy is there a difference between how older people act and look. Some of them are dancing long past my bedtime, and others are pushing around motorized scooters with a glazed look in their eyes.

There are, of course, a lot of factors outside of one’s control, but my takeaway is that aging is an active process, not a passive one. I’ve met eighty year olds who are inspiring and living amazing lives, and I’ve met eighty year olds who have given up and want to complain about everything. I don’t worry about aging because I’ve seen people do it well before and I think I can probably do the same.

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Photo is a fjord in Alaska. Maybe in Juneau?