So the past few cycles have been rough... I often find myself having to conciously force myself to keep my eyes open and focused. Because of this I was cutting the cycles in half, but that didn't seem to be doing too much for me. During this last one I decided to just push myself to complete some projects and see if it made a difference. As luck would have it, it made all the difference in the world. Just moving around and doing a few things made me feel almost as awake as yesterday.
As a result I'm going to push my nap forward to make up for those added naps. I'll feel better anyway. I'm still trying to decide on my final schedule. Right now I'm leaning towards 11, 3, 7. The main reason is because it would make it very easy to go out to clubs.
For some reason this time around feels a lot more different than my previous attempts. In a way it seems like I'm more in control. Before I always felt like it may get so bad that I would have to quit. Now I just feel like I may have to up my focus and effort, but that that anything thrown my way can be crushed.
It didn't occur to me until about a week ago that I am a mutant.
When genes duplicate, the overwhelming majority of them are copied with perfect fidelity, with only the occasional rogue gene mutating into something unexpected. Most of these mutations, called neutral mutations, have no real effect.
Once in a while, though, a gene mutates, and happens to produce a significant difference in its host, and that difference affects the host's survivability.
I've trained myself to be the type of person who's emotions are almost entirely independent from external events. Unlike most people, I draw my emotions from within. As long as I'm taking consistent action towards my goals and living in alignment with my values I'm able to the happiest person I know.
On the flip side, if I'm constantly procrastinating or doing things I know I shouldn't be doing I quickly enter a depressed state. Most people think this is a negative character trait, and I used to as well, but now given the choice I would actually chose to have my emotions function this way.
It's been shown that people are motivated by two things. The avoidance of pain and the acquisition of pleasure. Someone who's overweight may feel somewhat motivated to lose weight because they know that doing so would make them look better. However, they most likely won't begin exercising because they associate the pain of exercising to be greater than the pleasure of losing weight.
Multiply this by the fact that it takes several weeks of exercising to begin noticing results and it's no wonder we live in a nation of obesity. Most people are slaves to instant gratification because of their hunter-gatherer brains. We're genetically designed to get things while the getting is good. Unfortunately, this is a less than optimal way to live in today's society.
The difference between myself and most people is that I'm aware how to effectively use the pain vs pleasure response to my advantage. I've consumed enough personal development material, and trained myself to hold enough empowering beliefs that the overwhelming majority of the time it's actually easier for me to do the right thing than waste time or procrastinate.