11 Days In: What I've (re)Learned about Pickup

I've just completed my eleventh day of my thirty day get-back-into-pickup challenge. No... I'm not going to beat myself up this time-- I'm going to talk about what I've (re)learned over this week and a half.

The interesting aspect to this whole process is that I'm not actually learning anything new. I've been through this before. But there's a difference between knowing that something is true, and actually knowing something to such a degree that your actions are guided by it. Following are some ideas that have begun to take hold.

The most important part of pickup is getting out there and doing it. Yesterday I had a headache and was underslept. I really didn't want to go out. But the idea of not going out every single day this month is inconceivable at this point, so I went anyway. And, of course, I was glad I went.

The Upside to being Stubborn

Back when I used to help Mystery run workshops, we had a division of labor. He did most of the teaching, I did most of the organizing, and he made most of the decisions. Our program was three nights in the field: Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and two days of seminar. At one point Mystery decided that students could no longer take seminar and workshop during the same weekend. They would have to come one weekend for the seminar, and then the following for the workshop. This was great for local students, but a huge hassle for anyone traveling.

No amount of convincing would change Mystery's mind on this. I tried, of course, explaining that the reason we had fewer and fewer students was because no one wanted to fly out two weekends in a row. He wouldn't budge. Mystery is stubborn.

At the time this was frustrating, and even mind boggling-- how could someone so smart make such a bad decision and not listen to reason?

There's another side to being stubborn, though. When he was around twenty one, Mystery was a virgin who was bad with girls. Many young men have been in this position, and most of them never really solved their problem. But mystery was stubborn. He spent his last couple dollars every day taking a bus downtown so that he could go to nightclubs and observe the dynamics between men and women. He took notes, he pondered, he came up with theories, and he tested them.