I know that a lot of people's favorite posts are the self improvement ones. They're the most gratifying to write, and also to read the comments on.
I'd write more of them, but I hate writing them unless I feel like I'm really exemplifying the topic. Otherwise it's disingenuous. My worst nightmare would be for this site to turn into one of those other "personal development" blogs, 99% of which are written by people whose lives are not particularly outstanding, that churn out productivity porn every day.
"Ten new ways to organize your todo list!"
But right now I'm not really productive. I put in my hours with poker, write posts, and take stabs at other projects, but I wouldn't feel great about trying to inspire anyone to achieve this level of output. You're probably already exceeding it.
For about half a year I stuck to monitoring my productivity every day. I went from being wholly unable to produce to being a total productivity monster.
Great achievement and all that, a definite piece of the puzzle but not everything. When I finished Conversion Doubler, which came out exactly as I hoped, I realized that I just don't want to BE an internet marketer. It's not fun and exciting (for me) .
Right now I'm doing poker, which takes up an average of six hours a day seven days a week. It's a grind. I'm not innovating, I'm just learning by experience and information overload. It's just the particular phase I have to go through now. I could write a post about that, but it would just be one line:
"Keep doing it no matter what. When you feel like quitting, don't."
Not exactly a Pulitzer Prize contender.
I have half a billion other projects I could do, but I'm trying to be more selective now. I think of it like dating. If you settle and you date a girl who is "okay", then you are spending a lot of time NOT meeting a girl who is "amazing". If I bury myself in a new site I start on a whim, that's a month or so that I'm not brainstorming and thinking about what I want to do with my life.
So that's what I'm trying. I have mixed feelings on it. On one hand I feel like "just doing something" is a good way to get exposed to new possibilities. On the other, I don't spend as much time thinking and pondering as I used to, so I'm trying to do more of that.
There is one small project I'll be doing this month that has my wheels turning a bit in terms of direction for my life. You'll all know about it in a week or so.
This lull is the reason some of my posts have been less substantial recently. The upside is that I DO have a bunch of cool things planned in the near future and I'll be writing about them all.
Maybe you can help. Some of you know me very well, and many more have at least been reading for a long time. Based on what you know about me, what do you think my ideal enterprise would be? Feel free to answer in the comments or by e-mail.
When I asked my friends what my greatest strength was, the response was unanimous and surprising. Maybe this will be the same. Last time I asked for your input, with the survey, you blew me away.
I wrote about becoming a pro poker player a couple weeks ago. I was going to write about something else, but two things sap my motivation:
1. I have wicked bad allergies to something, probably the Cedar-Elm, and can hardly focus on anything for more than 15 to 20 minutes before I start rubbing my eyes and sneezing.
2. All I really do now is play poker, so it's on my mind.
I wrote this here before, but I think it is a good example of ideals-fears-uncontrollable life relationships.
When I was doing my phd, I had the idea of being perfect. Write the perfect thesis. Usually we have a very overvision of what we can do in our thesis. Particularly in my case, this ideal was pushed or increased by my psychological history. Basically, I passed part of my life hearing that I was not good, and the other part trying to prove that I was good. My fear of failure was so enormous that I put in my mind that I didn't know how to do it, and my blocking were mainly related to the writing part, the thesis per se (and obviously, the only part that counts when you do a phd). My feelings about it was always negative. And my bad experience with my advisor just got the things worst.
When I failed, it was bad, but I didn't die.
I decided to look to those feelings and to my process from the inside.
When I found the seachange program, I was looking for some good methods in productivity. By chance, I found seachange. I started in december. I started with the let go of distractions module and as well my personal aim, writing.