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Poker Progress

I wrote about becoming a pro poker player a couple weeks ago. I was going to write about something else, but two things sap my motivation:

1. I have wicked bad allergies to something, probably the Cedar-Elm, and can hardly focus on anything for more than 15 to 20 minutes before I start rubbing my eyes and sneezing.

2. All I really do now is play poker, so it's on my mind.

Mission 6

On Sweet Impermanence

I wrote this here before, but I think it is a good example of ideals-fears-uncontrollable life relationships.

When I was doing my phd, I had the idea of being perfect. Write the perfect thesis. Usually we have a very overvision of what we can do in our thesis. Particularly in my case, this ideal was pushed or increased by my psychological history. Basically, I passed part of my life hearing that I was not good, and the other part trying to prove that I was good. My fear of failure was so enormous that I put in my mind that I didn't know how to do it, and my blocking were mainly related to the writing part, the thesis per se (and obviously, the only part that counts when you do a phd). My feelings about it was always negative. And my bad experience with my advisor just got the things worst.

When I failed, it was bad, but I didn't die.

I decided to look to those feelings and to my process from the inside.

When I found the seachange program, I was looking for some good methods in productivity. By chance, I found seachange. I started in december. I started with the let go of distractions module and as well my personal aim, writing.

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