Yesteday Todd and I were choosing a place to go to lunch. I normally go to Whole Foods because they have healthy delicious food, unlike almost everywhere else. However, we wanted to try somewhere new. How about Veggie Heaven?
I’d never been there before, despite living across the street from it for two years. I used to eat awful food on a daily basis, and considered vegetarian and vegan food to be for hippies. I still do, actually.
Anyway, we get to the restaurant and are handed three menus each. The main menu had almost fifty items in it. Many were marked as being vegan. Hey, this must be healthy, right?
Wrong. I went through the entire menu and picked what seemed to be the healthiest item on the menu – a vegetable curry. Todd ordered “the immaculate tomato” or something like that.
Our orders came. Each one was smothered in gross sugary sauce. This is typical for vegetarian and vegan places – they’re almost NEVER healthy. This was actually my favorite thing about eating raw – there was nothing on the diet that wasn’t healthy.
So, in honor of Veggie heaven, here is a list of eight “health foods” that you shouldn’t eat.
- The Baked Potato – It’s not fried, and it’s a vegetable. It MUST be healthy. Nope. Potatoes are pure starch and have almost no nutritional value. Even plain they’re awful for you. Once you start adding bacon bits, sour cream, butter, and all that other junk, they quickly become the worst possible thing you could eat.
- Diet Soda – Most people probably know this. Diet soda isn’t good for you. Take a look at the ingredients some time – is there ANYTHING on there that is an actual food? No. It’s water and chemicals. Some of them are proven to cause cancer. Not only that, but there’s the caffeine. Caffeine is actually very good for you in small doses, like in white or green tea. However, caffeine from soda or coffee gets released all at once and is a higher dosage.
- Rice – I seriously don’t understand why people eat rice. It doesn’t even taste good. Maybe that’s why people think it’s healthy. It’s not. It’s a processed grain that is converted into sugar as soon as you eat it. Brown rice is okay for you, but still isn’t very good for you. I don’t eat it at all.
- Crackers and pretzels – I love how people think crackers are healthy. What do you think is in there that is good for you? There’s absolutely nothing. It’s just white flour, which is horrible for you.
- Juice – Some juice is good for you. The kind that you’re drinking probably isn’t.. But it’s fruit. What’s wrong with that? Well, the parts of the fruit that is good for you is the fiber and the vitamins. Juicing removes the fiber (some is added back in if you’re a ‘some pulp’ fan), and pasteurizing boils out most of the nutrients. You’re left with sugar water. Pasteurization is actually the worst thing ever – have you ever wondered why fresh squeezed orange juice is so much better than store bought orange juice? It’s because pasteurizing boils the juice so that old people won’t die if they drink it. If you’re not old and dying, drink unpasteurized orange juice and milk. Whole foods sells them.
- Frozen Yogurt – I don’t even want to talk about this one, because it makes me so upset. Frozen yogurt is just sugar. I think it has less fat than ice cream, but I don’t even care enough to look it up. It doesn’t matter because even if there’s no fat, you’re still just eating pure sugar. This also goes for those smoothies that have frozen yogurt mix in them (yeah, that actually exists.)
- Salad – Salad can be healthy. It usually isn’t. Lettuce is good for you, but is also fairly insignificant. It’s mostly just fiber, water, and low concentrations of vitamins. Most people slather their salad in dressing, which is almost never good for you. Just because a meal has lettuce in it doesn’t mean that it’s good for you. 80% of the calories in any salad are probably from the dressing. The only dressing that’s good for you is olive oil with a little bit of lemon juice or vinegar.
- Energy Bars – Energy bars are the hugest scam ever. I really wish that I thought of them first. Here’s a recipe for making an energy bar : take a candy bar, flatten it, and then stick some granola on it. You can also add some protein powder to it if you want it to have some merit, but that’s optional. The only good energy bars are Larabar, Organic Food Bar, and Organic Fiber bar. One of Boomi bar’s products are ok too.
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